“Presence is priceless.”
December 3, 2024
The Power of Presence - Today I feel good. Today, all is well. I like the life I have created for myself. A few days ago I realized that I have been insufferable, always complaining, always finding fault in something. It’s a horrible energy to be in, coming out on the other side of it, I realize how pitiful I was being. My suffering is always self-inflicted. I read a post today that says, “Make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitionary period…Don’t waste your college years wishing to already have graduated and have a job. Don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. If/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. But there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. While it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are (right) now and it’s your now that determines your future. Note to self.” - Somebody on Threads. 😊
I also read a tweet that says, “Don’t be in a rush to find the love of your life. Once you do, you’ll never get to be truly alone, by yourself, enjoying your life only for you, ever again. Treasure the solitude.” - Somebody on X. 😊
Presence. Gratitude. Both the themes of this year for me. I started the year in Thailand, at a meditation retreat titled “The Power of Presence,” and all year I’ve teetered back and forth between presence and escape. There were many moments where I appreciated just where I was, but also just as many moments where I worried about the future. Today it hit me that I will never be satisfied with anything in my life or any choice that I make until I simply just choose to be satisfied. Everyday won’t always be a good day, but it isn’t the end of the world. Life has always proven to get better. I have to internalize that and allow what is good to be good, and what is “bad” to run its course. Being present allows enjoyment of where I currently am to come with ease and then in return what needs to come to an end, will come to an end naturally. Moving on or making a decision won’t feel rushed or uncertain. My choices will less likely be made out of fear, but from opportunity and preparation.
The captain on my last trip asked me why I was still here (flight attending), and considering the amount of money I make and lack of time I have to actually travel for leisure, I couldn’t answer him….Today, I believe that the experience isn’t over yet. It has not come to its natural end. I’m not sure, but while I am still here, I plan to take full advantage of the timeline I am on. I went and got a library card today, I’ve been wanting to visit the library down the street from my crash-pad and I finally did. That felt good. I finished a book today, that felt good. I was able to buy everything I needed from the store today, that felt good. I was able to laugh and make jokes with C****** today, that felt good. I was able to talk to and see my mom and Danny. Hear their voices, share laughs with them. That felt good! I am blessed in so many ways. There is no reason I shouldn’t be able to find something to be grateful enough to live for. That was about 7 things to be grateful for + resources that allow for them to be possible. Like gas for my car. My car…. Money to buy the things I need and keep my cell phone on so that I can use FaceTime to talk to my loved ones. A voice to speak, my eyes to see, my ears to listen/hear. Whenever I am taking life and my blessings for granted I will return to presence and gratitude. Two things that don’t require anything to access. The power of presence is priceless.
